Imarn's Birthday

So  I wanted to write about my week.. The day Andrew died.. I felt lonely, not happy but as of now I feel just drained of crying and thinking everyday, WHY! couldn't it be me? I loved him and will always love him. since he died I have been sleeping in my older brothers room and crying every damn night.... I am tired of writing but I still do it for him. But now that I took into consideration of dating William I am not going to look back... Its time for me to be happy and stop thinking about the sad memories and think about the here and now like Jessie said she also said that I should live each day like its my last. I really wished that it was my last day so I can go to God and just be under his wing crying... I want his love because I don't want to be alone no one really understands my pain for people around me who died... Yesterday I finally have a sister in law Leah was engaged to by my older brother and I am so happy for him but what if he leaves this house... and I can't talk with him like I did for the week that I was in his room.. he is not even gone and I miss him. Today is my brothers birthday he is finally is thirty one.