Christmas thinking :O

        So this is my second post for today WOOT! anyways I think this is awkward in my mind I have been banging my head on a wall of personal base but anyways I was just wondering my family has been struggling to make a good Christmas and untop of that they failed as soon as I was born we where slowly withering of putting up the tree but ... it was better than not being able to not be able to celebrate it at all.. I was wondering if I get married what Christmas would be like I would like my boyfriend to celebrate Christmas with me that was kinda one of my boyfriend and girlfriend wishes to go see the tree together and hold our hands through a night walk I guess >///< but I don't think that dream will come true :S but shhh don't tell anyone that was my dream... anyways I was wondering about something I know that Christmas is like suppose to be Gods birthday but why do some people 

Celebrate it and we don't even you know believe in him and sometimes the people whom oppose him celebrate it at the time I was sick for the five days I even opposed him because of the fact that my face had looked really like a mushy grape at some points I thought where was God what was his plan for me .... the interesting thing is that my boyfriends name means strong and manly and their is a line from the bible that states "I thank Thee and praise Thee, O God of my fathers; for Thou has given me wisdom and strength."

       Tell me my God does not have a plan for my boyfriend I will probably pray until my boyfriend can celebrate Christmas with ease I know it will be hard... and I know we probably will clash a lot on this and I know I said I wouldn't touch about our religious beliefs but I do want one selfish thing that I know my boyfriend will say no to which is to "Celebrate Christmas with me and our would to be family" but I would love to see how it is .... I know I probably asking for way to much but I am wondering what it would be like >~< and I know I don't say no to lots of things with my boyfriend which is only one or two time I don't feel like being intimate I say no but I guess I am just being weird I DO NOT want to change anything of my boyfriend not even his religulous viewpoints that sounds like a contradiction doesn't it ? because I just stated I would want to try to get him to spend Christmas with our would be family..? No I think I am just doing it for my selfish wish of wanting to my Boyfriend/Would be husband to spend Christmas with me :3 ( you got me like you when I say no you try to flirt with me to say yes will this is kinda like what I want to do ^.~)

I would hate Christmas without you :O

Damn come back I want to have a Christmas together... :O