... Dad got sick

I just found out from my mom that my dad has something in his lungs and I was just taking out my lo- mein from the Chinese take out box and being silent so that I could process this.. I am thinking back on lots of things like when my dad was suppose to take my mom to the doctor and walked out because he had work... and he just left her their by herself ... and then things like the text messages where he had hid from our family but off course I found it... and then their is a incident where my dad slapped me because I hung up on a call on his phone.. even my passport and my social and birth papers are not being found but regardless of what happens I feel bad that he is going through this but a part of me is not giving two craps because of how he treated us ... he did love me and still does when I was a young baby but what went wrong in our relationship? he doesn't even talk to me anymore... he is just to busy with life ... my older brother is now taking the responsibilities of what my father should be doing for me....