The unspoken

I may not say things out loud but ... I don't wanna know anymore.. About anything it hurts to wonder but it hurts to mostly know about it.. I think I will call it a draw you know to the fact I won't flirt with my friends... As to you would... Isn't that words suppose to hurt me... Sorry doesn't cut the fact that I am feeling this way... Lovers do not do this... is probably the second time you hurt me by your words do you think that I am hilarious cause I don't fight back with you or because of the fact I don't get back at you? Well it's because I refuse to play to that level. You tell me I am yours but how does it make me feel when you do it to your friends the stuff we where suppose to do... I won't cry is what I tell myself.... But I do.....I am not a girl not a women but just a thing that whatever I say just has no effect on you anymore..... I stopped hurting myself and you said I was the one but my biggest opinion is I am a big joke the biggest joke. Thank your friend ... That she kept you out of trouble... What about me am I not helping you am I not good enough... Yes you friends have problems but I don't think you should kiss her on her cheek.... I mean I would get judged if a guy kissed me on the cheek you would hate it what you don't like.. Then why do it and think I would be okay with it.....???