So here is my make up for yesterdays post as you probably don't know yesterday was stress relieving but stressful The relieving part was getting to know that Andrew wouldn't get mad at the fact am me fucking cursing all the time :O The other thing would be that he opened up to me about something which I am kinda to lazy to describe and it is too much to actually right but Andrew finally told me his side of his faults which I think is very funny he states that he is...
" I'm arrogant selfish narcissistic as hell and snap to easily and sometimes just don't want to tell you what's wrong so I just don't tell you and I keep Some things from you and I purposely piss you off sometimes and I'm too possessive and quite easily jealous." - Andrew
Which I think is down right fucking true which I am glad that he admits to his mistakes and sometimes I really wonder if he can change that. He is keeping from me one secret which I hope isn't bad but in which case he said its not back because he said "it could bring us closer together"
But the thing that throughs me off is that he will regret saying it... I wonder what it is but hey curious kills the cat oh that reminds me I saw a dead cat today on my way from home. Since I was to busy to tell you about this incident I might as well update you guys so I got into a physical fight and this girl almost lost her life... I only realized what happened when her blood was on my hands... So I hope that I get into no charges for assault or some shit.
The stressful thing that happened was that my brother I loaned him $10.00 and he used it to smoke cigarets which I HATE CIGS but I guess he thinks it was funny to write on his facebook...
"I don't think when my parents undermine & degrade me they'd ever realize how much more depressed and helpless it makes me feel. How unmotivated and useless they make me feel. Its the reason I try to never be home around people who have no hope in my success. And instead surround myself with friends that actually believe in my success. They may indulge in bad things according to my family. But those bad things helped me find myself. I may do bad things against there will but I still have a good heart. But they will never know that.. Its sad actually."
To be honest I understand where my mother is coming from she spend so much time investing in our college that she doesn't even have enough time to even get for her damn self their are a lot of bosses that she had work for and gave her bull shit and you know what she has to do? is suck it up and keep on going just for me to get an education and just so that my middle brother can get a roof over her head.
My brother states he is depressed and helpless DAMN YOU ARE NOT HANDY CAP YOU ARE NOT FREAKING HANDY CAP NIGAHH!!!! seriously my older brother all he does is tell my middle brother to try and my middle bro is like " I am fixing my resume or profile " dude you did that three months ago. you don't need to be high to be motivated how about you think about if our mom was about to not live anymore where would you live? dude you certainly not gonna be living off your sister cause for all I know I wanna be with my babe and not help your ass I want my own life. We are family and if you look at it my mom is only upset at the fact that you don't get what she is telling you she is only looking out for your well being I mean like she wants to make sure that you are okay before she is not living anymore thats everyones parents wish to make sure their children are well capable of living on your own and not depending on your parents every DAMN TIME you get laided off your damn job.
Here is my little thinking how about you do this brother how about you save your money then go to our older brother to help you with a website I am sure my older brother won't mind. Then you can draw some little designs for T-shirts that people might like. Or maybe some drawings who know you never know who is looking on your website. Then you see all that time you waist at home? how about you make a ad in the newspaper about your website or how about you give out business cards in the city? I am a good business person but you my friend all you "THINK ABOUT IS OHHH I AM MISUNDERSTOOD! FUCK THAT LOGIC." I understand that our mom is not a great person to communicate with at times but she is looking for our best intreats she is not looking for us to be sad. You also said that mom doesn't let you out of the house have you seen what you have been doing that makes her not let you back in? you come home 3 or 2 am in the morning well you use to and now you still come home a little late she gets pissed when you come home high. I mean which parent would allow their kids to smoke?
I would allow my kids to so they can get their curiosity out but I wouldn't allow them to do it all the fucking time that would let them get so effected they can't function .
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