Realizing something

You know what I realized is that I just wanted to say I will love my boyfriend even if he broke our promise but I do want him to make me a new promise. " please trust in me. Please at least open yourself up to me regardless of what your feeling." All I want is a apology over the phone. Maybe I am just stupid but I don't wanna feel like I am being taken advantage of even though as much as my mind is telling me I am being taken advantage of I choose not to believe it and continue to be strong. I just want a new beginning I am not going to ponder on this anger any longer I just want my boyfriend not to smoke again if it happens again I will quit being Mrs. Weaver for good... Because its like you lied saying you won't smoke again and you did. Wanna know why I have so much patients? Because If My God didn't have as much faith in me as I Did in him and our love I wouldn't of even able to keep pushing this relationship mI have learned to forgive people whom break promises because If I can't forgive you then I would be just waisting all the time we could be together spending happy times together my goal is to have more happy memories than sad with you and if you can't see that your changing for the worst... I just wish I can show you a mirror of what your ugly self looks like right now I wish you could just see how much I love you as of now and as each day passes how much my love grows for you.... If only you can give me that love as I give you. your love for me right now is trapped in a balloon but I just know if you let yourself go and be completely submerged and trusting in this relationship your love for me will be a large range like the blue skies. I want to believe in our relationship more can I believe in our love? like you believe in the me that will continually love you?