My Life Officially Sucks...

well it started with me going to school I went to see what my grades and I passed everything except math now i have to take summer classes ... -sighs- and Jessie is having a good time she is with G and having fun... while I am at my friends house and I am being board because her friend is here also and I failed so now privileges will be gone still until i pass my regents..... THIS SUCKS I HATE THIS and also I have to deal with stupid Jelousy with the stupid shyt like my boyfriend he is not coming next year X( NO FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My inscure feelings that i wanna cry to...

I wanna role play with my boyfriend but now I can't I have nothing to do -sighs- oh well and my friend she looks so busy I wanna cry but I don't know how to talk about my pain I wanna talk about my feelings I wanna cry for once without being judge or given sympathy for but why can't anyone see my true self I put this mask on that I am strong which I just wish people can see that my strong personality comes from the ordeals I had before them which lots of girls comes to me for help but it hurts way to much I just HATE THIS FEELING I think no one will understand me even if they tried ... I wish I would just hurry up and go to go away college and leave here and get my life to be free from all this pain I just hate it...

Problems With Bestie :(

Recently my best friend Jessie has been unsure and insure about her relationship with the person whom she loves and, I get upset because they are meant for each other but it is also up to the boy whom she loves to be patient with her because it is very hard for her to open up she feels very insecure of course because all girls when they get boyfriends they think their not good enough for them so does the boy. But also their comes a point in time where the girl gets enough strength and that love grows from their own planted love that in time their love becomes into something far more great and impenetrable for anyone to break so honestly this blogging is for the boy she likes Jessie is my best friend and also I think of her like a sister I am sorry for being very mean to you maybe it is because i did not trust you as much as I want to but I would like to give you a chance but please do not quit before you get to know her I know you want to know her and it can be frustrating at times but believe me when you get to know the Jessie I know you will not regret knowing her happy sides sad sides evil sides and much more when ever she is in pain she doesn't talk much and when she is upset she refuses to tell me things until I tell her what makes me sad so just talk to her a lot and she will get use to you. pretty much your the first guy she has ever love so it maybe the hardest thing to open up for her but hey I just wanna tell you that you have my blessings and if you want to know anything about her or anything that your unsure of with I will always be here to help you guys that is what I need to be a person who can help her always but I want her to rely more on you instead of me so in other words I want you to have her but don't hog her to your self dude :3

innocency Feelings

I love the fact that I have a friend but not matter how much I talk to her all she ever wants to do is be me... But now she also might have a crush on my boyfriend... I don't know what to do I love him too but I like her friendship to I feel like really crying.. I haven't told my boyfriend of how I feel but maybe I should just stop talking to her so that I won't get hurt by this feeling maybe I am over reacting but I can't stand it her love for him really pains me... and not only that her depression also pains me... but not only that I feel angry every time I see her because it feels like she will betray me.

My Anger...

I don't want to talk anymore I feel like reading speak was the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel like that book expresses how I feel my mom herself is just hurting me and I just HATE how people in this house think I am self centered because of the fact I told and everyone in this world is just trying to get cash money. this is exactly why I wrote all these words on my folder in class last month...

Love Insuecureity

Lately i have been depressed well its only for today... but I guess you can say I haven't had much courage since I started going out with my new boyfriend, At times I would share my pain but then at times I would laugh and be happy just talking to him but now just being away from him really hurts I don't want him to .... hate me or resent me ... it hurts to much to think of something like he might leave me ... I love talking to him talking about him and other things but I am just a normal human being who gets insecure about things. I wish I was strong enough like the way he is with his love for me ... he is really handsome and I worry lots of times but I wonder if it would be okay for a little while just relax my mind for a while... sometimes my hurt feelings end up over coming me maybe its just me but I really have lots of doubts .... I don't know why I love him so much and I hardly remember anything about him.... I want to remember everything about him ... but I don't know how to I just want to remember lots of things about him so that I won't have to feel depressed about things .... I found so much quotes like "If you don’t understand my silence, how will you understand my words?" and "I miss you so much, missing you is only half the story. Hope the other half is you miss me too"this one makes my heart pain so much "I love you so much with all my love, your the only guy I always will want, you show me your love to me like no one has, you make me blush when you look straight to my eyes, promise me you wont ever leave because without you I’m lost" I am so freaking obssessed and down that I took two freaking love test -____-

Certificate: Test results
How much do you love him?

I love him he is cute but now you are just friends face him take it outside the friendship zone and try your best to make it work good luck


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