Officially feel like a stalker
Okay well hi people I was suppose to write a blog for yesterday and I was dam freaking lazy and I haven't gotten to writing one so please excuse me for writing it late anyways the title of this is pretty much self explanitory I feel like a stalker because of the fact I was reading a blogger that my boyfriends mom has been writing (shh don't tell her knight) and I can understand her motherly point of view I was laughing at most of the parts because it made me think Man my babe was not joking about giving his mom trouble but hey that is what kids do :) anyways to be less more explanitory long story short I am a total stalker and was just reading his moms blogger from 12 to 1 in the freaking morning. Yesterday which I am writing this for yesterday I did lots of things I finally went back to church and apparently the people in my church think I am not fat enough and I am too skinny so they keep giving me food to eat enough said about that right? (*cough-cough*) But yet they tell me I look like a model how Ironic. My boyfriend knight he had talked to me by txting man do I love that guy we where talking about random things I wish to kiss him in the near future <3 we didn't get to roleplay which was a total let down but their is always tomorrow right? and not only that the flooding named sandy was being explain to everyone and all public schools got closed down which is really cool :I well anyways I think I am going really crazy because it is 2 in the morning now so I am going to head off to bed nighty night
I'm tired
So I got back from flushing 3hours ago and my friend Jessie I finally got to hang out with her. It was really fun we got to see a bakery eat bread :3 and we got to go to random places for buying pocky and anime things we went to a jewelry store and it is really cool cause everytime we went we would always go when they had a sale :3 and I am gonna roleplay with Knight he was home and I didn't talk to him... I really feel upset with myself... 
Can't think...
I am gonna loose my mind is it even possible to loose my mind more than it already is.... I have failed as a student I failed all my classes I only pass about three classes..
Today's update
Here something random I wrote in my thinking book...
Really wish you where here
The tears that fall in my heart
Is getting painful...
I really miss you babe I can't
Even focus if I can't talk to you
My day feels incomplete when I
Do not wake up to your voice
or to your text babe.
How I wish I would just die...
My body feels like its consuming
My soul my heart and my mind.
Really wish you where here
The tears that fall in my heart
Is getting painful...
I really miss you babe I can't
Even focus if I can't talk to you
My day feels incomplete when I
Do not wake up to your voice
or to your text babe.
How I wish I would just die...
My body feels like its consuming
My soul my heart and my mind.
It's been a while
I haven't been blogging because I have been so caught up on what to write I end up falling a sleep before writing a thing okay well for the passed weeks I have been getting nothing but bad things that i have been doing pour for this coming up marking period because of my surroundings so now I have to zone people out to work more and pass chemistry well I get to talk to my boyfriend and I got into a fight with my brother and my dad stood up for him I just wish they would disappear with the rest of their empty souls.
Stressing...
I am stressing out so much I kinda wanna start cutting again.. I feel like I am loosing it but I promised knight I would not cut again and I think I am gonna burst .... It's really getting worst my body feels the need to and I don't know what to do but I am trying to restrain from cutting again.
;
</script>
</div></span>
<h3 class='post-title entry-title'>
<a href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/starving-hungry.html'>Starving hungry...</a>
</h3>
<div class='post-body entry-content'>
Today I had a great day it's just I was depressed over something and I felt like crying you know? I have never felt hungry and alone you know it's like weird... But it's okay I am a big girl and I will get over my depression I think it's because my friends mom told my friend I was the reason why she was doing bad in school if that really was the case why don't I just quit being happy?? I mean like if I wanted to ruin her life I wouldn't help her in life or became her friend... Not only that her bro bashed on me and she herself called me modern which is a diss in our culture... I kinda wanna cry...
<div style='clear: both;'></div>
</div>
<div class='post-footer'>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'>
<span class='reaction-buttons'>
</span>
<span class='star-ratings'>
</span>
<span class='post-comment-link'>
<a class='comment-link' href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/starving-hungry.html#comment-form' onclick=''>0
comments</a>
</span>
<span class='post-backlinks post-comment-link'>
</span>
<span class='post-icons'>
<span class='item-control blog-admin pid-479482220'>
<a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6797425919946357831&postID=5471897569847226062&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'>
<img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='http://www.blogger.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/>
</a>
</span>
</span>
</div>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'>
<span class='post-labels'>
</span>
</div>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'>
<span class='post-location'>
</span>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template'>
<a name='1069917020602216495'></a>
<div class='post-header-line-1'></div><span class='date-header'><div id='date'>
<script> replace_date('Wednesday, October 17, 2012');
</script>
</div></span>
<h3 class='post-title entry-title'>
<a href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/psat-results.html'>PSAT results...</a>
</h3>
<div class='post-body entry-content'>
So today i took the PSAT I am so beat up on that test it was really hard even the math I should know I don't know it... I really am scared now on the other PSAT other than that our schedule was really stupid we had to go to all our classes for 15 min or 19min and most people left... We came out at 1 original time and I still feel it was awaits of time I didn't even get to present my work today at all... So now I have to present tomorrow oh well...
<div style='clear: both;'></div>
</div>
<div class='post-footer'>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'>
<span class='reaction-buttons'>
</span>
<span class='star-ratings'>
</span>
<span class='post-comment-link'>
<a class='comment-link' href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/psat-results.html#comment-form' onclick=''>0
comments</a>
</span>
<span class='post-backlinks post-comment-link'>
</span>
<span class='post-icons'>
<span class='item-control blog-admin pid-479482220'>
<a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6797425919946357831&postID=1069917020602216495&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'>
<img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='http://www.blogger.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/>
</a>
</span>
</span>
</div>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'>
<span class='post-labels'>
</span>
</div>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'>
<span class='post-location'>
</span>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template'>
<a name='6026187025967066228'></a>
<div class='post-header-line-1'></div><span class='date-header'><div id='date'>
<script> replace_date('Wednesday, October 10, 2012');
</script>
</div></span>
<h3 class='post-title entry-title'>
<a href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/useless.html'>.... Useless</a>
</h3>
<div class='post-body entry-content'>
Is that what I am?? I think I am I am really dumb in math so that's why people have to make fun of me... Now I am gonna cry myself to sleep without knight... I miss him... Really much and I can't speak to him because he seems busy so I'll just go under my covers and cry and figure this out on my own like I always have.
<div style='clear: both;'></div>
</div>
<div class='post-footer'>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'>
<span class='reaction-buttons'>
</span>
<span class='star-ratings'>
</span>
<span class='post-comment-link'>
<a class='comment-link' href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/useless.html#comment-form' onclick=''>0
comments</a>
</span>
<span class='post-backlinks post-comment-link'>
</span>
<span class='post-icons'>
<span class='item-control blog-admin pid-479482220'>
<a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6797425919946357831&postID=6026187025967066228&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'>
<img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='http://www.blogger.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/>
</a>
</span>
</span>
</div>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'>
<span class='post-labels'>
</span>
</div>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'>
<span class='post-location'>
</span>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template'>
<a name='5044703128935350721'></a>
<div class='post-header-line-1'></div><span class='date-header'><div id='date'>
<script> replace_date('Tuesday, October 9, 2012');
</script>
</div></span>
<h3 class='post-title entry-title'>
<a href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/am-everything.html'>Am everything</a>
</h3>
<div class='post-body entry-content'>
I feel really down again well I guess you can say not because of my health it's because I haven't talked to knight as much as I would want to.. I miss him and just when he said it was okay to talk to him I told him you need rest.. Because I am scared of two things being alone and being broken up with what If knight got tired of talking to me.. I think of stupid things like that. Well I am waiting for his text reply and he is probably upset but I am scared to ask for what I want because I am still conservative when it comes to asking on what I want...<br />
Well back to heintia watching.. Cause knight probably fell a sleep again.
<div style='clear: both;'></div>
</div>
<div class='post-footer'>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-1'>
<span class='reaction-buttons'>
</span>
<span class='star-ratings'>
</span>
<span class='post-comment-link'>
<a class='comment-link' href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/am-everything.html#comment-form' onclick=''>0
comments</a>
</span>
<span class='post-backlinks post-comment-link'>
</span>
<span class='post-icons'>
<span class='item-control blog-admin pid-479482220'>
<a href='https://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=6797425919946357831&postID=5044703128935350721&from=pencil' title='Edit Post'>
<img alt='' class='icon-action' height='18' src='http://www.blogger.com/img/icon18_edit_allbkg.gif' width='18'/>
</a>
</span>
</span>
</div>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-2'>
<span class='post-labels'>
</span>
</div>
<div class='post-footer-line post-footer-line-3'>
<span class='post-location'>
</span>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<div class='post hentry uncustomized-post-template'>
<a name='7426860162463020424'></a>
<div class='post-header-line-1'></div><span class='date-header'><div id='date'>
<script> replace_date('Monday, October 8, 2012');
</script>
</div></span>
<h3 class='post-title entry-title'>
<a href='https://heartless-gummiebearluv-favdramas.blogspot.com/2012/10/better-day.html'>Better day</a>
</h3>
<div class='post-body entry-content'>
Well today I got to relax because its Columbo day that was when Christopher Clumbus discovered that the world was round not flat well anyways enough about history you probably know I went to the emergency room which I thought was bad but I got to watch cartoons and fishes and law and order but other than that what's the best thing was no school but the bad thing is that my skin condition is contagious so I keep getting treated like a germ a-FO by my dad and brother well so your probably wondering what are you doing right now?? Well I am making some milo aka COCO -w- the only thing is I am worried what happened to knight after I texted back he no reply...<div class=)
I am crying ...
I think the title explains it self I am a contagious germ freak now I keep bleeding and it's angers me a lot I don't know if I will ever get better my eye kids hurt to stay opened...
Consumption
I have been consuming a lot of sadness and pain from my body because their are more scars that appeared I guess I am gonna cry again tonight.... Why is it am I not surprised I wanna talk knight about it but I am just so stressed out I do not feel well I really feel like passing out and not able to go on... I feel really horrible like I can't trust anyone... Knight might get tired of my depressed and low esteem again..
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
