Piled messge

So today i feel like annoyed that i tried to get my fb message and then i ask my boyfriend to message me on oovoo and no matter how many times i texted him still no answer so i am not gonna wait night guys i am annoyed so i am gonna go sleep 

Good morning

Good morning Andrew i want to apologize for last night where i passed out because my eyes where supper tired anyways i wanted to thank you for a great night so i hope you have a great dinner and a great car ride today i really love you 100% anyways hopefully somewhere later on today maybe we can watch a movie... Or ... Video chat.. Or roleplay...

Compatibility

I read so much damn articles and information on websites about capricorns and Sagittarius people not working so I am pretty much annoyed now. I role played a lot today but my boyfriends available sign keeps coming on and when i message him he doesn't reply back... -sighs-

Tonight

Tonight was really good but to be honest i did so much things today like going to manhattan buying berry tart and pear tart it should be really delicious and then tonight i role played the most ugh role play it was "the" most satisfying role play for the night so i made a comic the previous night to our roleplay 

|(￣3￣)|

I realized the reason why I hate my family so much is because of the choices in life they made... so i was talking to my brother and all he ever did was annoy me today made me cry by telling me my mom would leave me at the age of 17... And sell the house so my mom can go live back home i am so sick and tired of his jokes and his heavy slaps so fucking tired of everyone hurting me my middle brother even glared at me when i told him our aunt was on the phone what the fuck and my older brother thinks i should go along WITH EVERY FUCKING THING IT ANGERS ME... I DIDNT EVEN GET MY DAMN SANDWHICH I had to take half of my moms sandwhich.. Which made me feel bad and i felt like a food fatty.... I wanna talk to andrew.. But maybe he is a sleep... 

angry but can't stay angry

     So I wanted to correct some information that I posted yesterday it turns out Knight had to do something so he ended up roleplaying with me late last night and of course I felt like I had to beg him to role play and I did FaceTime him and he was being such a jerk I had to beg him to apologize I think its just ridiculous I had to ask him "Please apologize" fuck really? and then it was suppose to be funny but right before that I told him I felt lonely he does that and it got me pissed what effect do you think would happen. I did accept his apology but right nowI am just tired of when he angers me... seriously... what am I suppose to do for the next couple of days he is gonna be so busy I wont be able to talk to him... I am angry at him but ... I do admit I will miss him... I wish he would talk to me first instead of me having to always start the conversation first.... I do love him but I don't feel like I am the only one into him.... I wanna feel like he is into me ... and lately even though he says he loves me... and pays attention to me ... gives me advice... I don't know why but I still feel sad ... when he doesn't give me something small like starting a conversation I am so greedy... I feel like I don't even deserve to talk to him... because right now I feel like my anger would get in the way of talking to him. 

...

So i am finally writing a journal entry i had fun because i burned mosquitos with fire and played Pokemon to my hearts comtent now that i wanna roleplay my boyfriend isnt roleplay replying back... he possibly fell a sleep... Which is why i said i am lonely... I feel kinda fruastrated..

Dance Video

So today all I did was make a dance video I suck don't I don't judge me it was just to loose so waist fat... !!!

Prove me wrong

So my boyfriend hasn't answered his text in 13 minutes or more.. Mmm i wonder if he fell a sleep but i guess their is always room for a doubt if he answers me soon he isn't a sleep if he doesn't that means he went to bed.. Or just passed out... Rude boy (-_-) so my boyfriend apologized over something... I guess I do feel lonely but hey i am not gonna be a weirdo and hold him down... But it is kinda lonely but i guess my lonely phobia will go away in time :)

Love heartache

Today was a very stressful day I am kinda sad and I really don't want my report card on the 26th... The other thing is Recently my urges have been scaring me their getting very impossible to contain... I am trying so that I can hold them into shape... The other thing I am very afraid of is if knight gets tired of me... I am siting her in this room worried about this and I am scared that I might not pass this test I am really stupid.... Thinking about weird stuff I am now starting summer so tomorrow I am going to be heading out to have a very long run because I am tired of having these useless feelings I am happy that I got to talk to knight today we even role played he got so intimate it makes me hate the fact he is so far I am ripping my heart a lot I have never wanted to meet someone like this so much before.. As you guys may know I used to date a guy with the name of train well when I dated him I wanted to talk to him I thought it would last but not even feelings of him coming here made me as much as it would if my current boyfriend where to come visit me my ex didn't make my heart tear up as much as it did with knight I feel like I want to cry that he is not near me to give me a hug or a kiss... Is that even damn normal? all I ever have in my mind is I am stupid and behind in school and can't even catch up to the one I love... He is going to be in college and I am going to be in my sophomore year... I am so beat about lots of things confused about a lot of things but right now all I know is my heart pains so much to be able to be near Knight... Well good night guys if I stay up any longer I might start crying..

Knight moves...

Galaxy S4

       So today I took my algebra regents today and I really think I did bad on it. I have not one doubt that I did bad on it but I want to still hope that I would get at least partial credit for showing my work. I hope that God is seeing me not cheat and I will get rewarded for this... because it kinda sucks being the only 17 year old that is so stupid in math.... -sighs- other than that tomorrow I have my Global history and it starts at 8 .. I even have to wait for Knight to come back from the anime convention at sunday I think and he is leaving tomorrow at 4. I can tell you I Am actually frustrated about the fact that I have to take the global regents... so after the regents are over I am going to be getting a new phone I don't know when but I am going to be getting this phone ... 

      This summer I am going to be pretty much free I guess until I might have to do a little bit of small things but the only thing I worry about is that since Knight is starting College he might be busy but I guess that is a understatement because mostly I will be more busy because of the classes and the S.A.T the other thing that I am just stressing is that MAN is knight a ladies man -___-||| this guy is always in a picture with someone wahhhh T_T... but its okay because at the end of the day he is still mine. 

       On the second note I am going to the ... retreat somewhere in up state new york I believe so I wont be able to talk to Knight it will probably be a two night away from home thing. Then later on I am going to pennsylvania to go see a show about Noah.. I have so much things that I want to think about in life but I think that if I take my time things should go well... I realized that if I keep stressing about the stupid small things like loosing friends then I guess you can say If I am not willing to accept that little pain in the future I wont be able to bare the hard pains like a loss in my family, or even maybe pregnancy.. that may occur in the future. I have so much problems its like when I take a test I freeze up and its probably only because I am a air head and nervous about a lot of things. I Don't know why I freeze up in tests even through english test where I KNOW I could get 90's I end up getting 80's ... I guess its because I did not put in much effort into doing that class or the tests or maybe because I didn't re-read the chapters like I normally do in a result I got a grade which I was not proud of but also held me back into bring up my average than bring it down. 

       The title is exactly what it means so knight he lives in NC and he moved to VA which is probably the most closes he can get to me if I can get happy about something thats probably one of the things I think I would be happy.... the other crappy thing is I don't even know if I actually want to do engineering ... why does my major keep changing I think it changed like 3 times already is this gonna keep changing until I actually find something that I actually like the world will probably never know I don't know why I am typing so much tonight its probably I have a lot to say or I am just nervous about my regents tomorrow I don't know why I am nervous its probably because this is gonna be my first global regents.... I wonder if ill pass this... because from what I heard people keep saying its a hard test. The other thing I am kinda annoyed about is that my friend Jessie she waited until last minute to tell me that she didn't understand or know whats gonna be on the regents test... its like I am a square X( and not even that she blew up >_< on me but oh well I am fine with her blowing up on me because she apologized other than that did you guys know I went to the zoo? I think it was like monday and I got Jessie something very cute... I can't wait to give it to her maybe that will calm her ass down about the regents :3 

Noooow I really wanna beat myself up how the fuck is it do I loose consciousness and then fucking wake up 30 freakish minutes after my boyfriend goes to sleep what type of bull shit is that ...  Now I feel so fucking miserable FUCK!! I didn't even hear face time WHAT THE FUCK -....- !!!! -cries and whines like a damn flipping baby- FUCK!!!!

Graduating

So I was thinking why is it my boyfriend wasn't talking to me and I realized because its his graduation he is really busy so maybe I should just fade its a day about my babe who has graduated so I'm just gonna congratulate you babe on your completion of high school I know that I said I really didn't want to speak to you but that was a lie the only thing I rally just wanted was a apology It's because you promised me like a lot and we didn't get to because you always fell a sleep before we got to... Role play you should try to understand that even I have limits :(

I know that saying that video chat was a form of spending time with each other but so Is role play and I just like acting out scenes with you is that so bad???

Rawr rain go away!!!

So today I just wanted to say that today was the most boring day ever and all I did was watch stupid movies -____- so what happened was I decided to just go with the ultimate flow this weekend and relax so yeah I just wanted to post a random picture because I want to...

At times my boyfriend has a sweet side but other times he is such a Baka!!!

Second part of today

so you told me to forget about it and then go to sleep WHAT ABOUT THE PROMISE WE JUST HAD DOES IT MEAN NOTHING???!!.... 

.

.

.

.

. I don't wanna talk to you now.... 

BLOW OFF DAY!!!

So today was no school and I was suppose to hang out with my friend Jessie so now that its her moms birthday she blew me off... I know it wasn't her fault... but it kinda is getting tire some to just keep up with her.... as a friend and as a best friend it makes me angry... so today I am doing plan "B" I am going to go to the zoo with my brother and his girlfriend today at around 12 .. I am gonna cool my mind and just take pictures and call it a day its really funny because I don't really know how this happened my brother told me we can be your back up plan HOW DID THIS HAPPEN WHAT IS HE PHYSIC >w< !!! .... wow anyways now even though I finished my homework I have to print out the project out for Mr. Osso and then I will actually be done with the homework due on Friday (This is only half of the day I will write more when I get back >___<!!! ) 

Pushing buttons

A So today I really think I pushed Andrews buttons even for me... I was just being a character yesterday and me as a character + his temper = not happy 

I don't know why but I feel kinda of a let down that he couldn't role-play with me I am looking at if I would of just went on Skype none of this would of happened... I stayed up practically until one in the morning and finished my homework out of frustration to figure out if that was stupid on my part to get angry at him because he was "tired"... I think what I did was.... 

But I also feel that it's his fault too because he keeps promising me to role-play and he keeps breaking promises its making me fucking angry sad and just at the most part not even being able to have a good time with my boyfriend. Yeah I do admit I was pissed but I was so upset when I started reading quotes it got Andrew off the hook if being pissed but a apology won't hurt... For breaking the promise again.

....

So you know what I officially pissed off at my brother. the only thing I hate as of now is that my boyfriend had told me he would role-play and he hung up FaceTime I was only gone 20 min and I hide my iPod really well! I tried calling him and even tried messaging him and he did not even give me the light of day... to even respond back... I don't know what's worst my boyfriend not answering his calls or my brother saying that I don't need a boyfriend through a damn service... My boyfriend didn't even say good night at all... or at least text me.. Something what am I some type of girl who is begging for attention?!!!! Facts that really hurt....

Amazing DAMN APP

So today I realized that my bluetooth was on so I couldn't receive my notices on my I-Pod  but that isn't what I am so angry about. What I am angry about is that my Facebook app is being crappy it doesn't want to send my messages and when it does it sends it a hour late I like Facebook and everything because it saves most of the last messages so that I can remember where I was up to in role-play and now its acting like a complete ass... on another note I am also pissed because I was so tired I was a sleep and then was not able to reply to Knights role-play reply now I am wondering if he is angry at me. He doesn't seem to answer to his FaceTime, neither his phone... but I am kinda guessing he had something to do... I am so angry I can't believe I fell a sleep as soon as I came home ... =______= !!!!! I even slept and missed a perfect chance to role-play with him GAHHHH -cries in regrets- !!!!!

-.-

I can't over come this as soon as Andrew wrote some sweet as hell words in roleplay I felt so damn "turned on." I am very as you may say dripping oh my gosh I am trying to have all restraint that a side I saw Ryan again he came back to church is it me or did he get taller.. Other than that I felt pretty good I was roleplaying with Andrew again it made me at ease that I am going back to school until tomorrow morning I will realized how shitty wrong I was about going to school.... So yeah .. Anyways I think I am going to go nighty night.

"Lately"

When I hung up FaceTime on Andrew kinda felt rude, but I kinda felt the sensation of anger coming on... Lately I feel kinda more and more sad about my friends treating me like I am shit so I think the more I stay alone the more I will think being alone is much more fun than being with people.. I feel like I had a great day today but all good days end with a fucked up end so I got into a fight with my mum and then I was told my brother was gonna sleep in my room but then he says oh I can't sleep in your room so now I am beyond pissed and on the verge of wanting to cry.. I couldn't tell if Andrew was awake or a sleep but I tried to talk to him on face time but no respond so I thought he was a sleep and then hung up FaceTime and started playing games the more I played my games the more I thought it was rude of what I did and hung up without saying good night... I don't know why I am so touchy about little things that people do to me now I think maybe Andrew is getting tired of my insecure and hearing about me crying way to much honestly I know I do... It's because every time I want to cry it never comes out.. And I never know why.