... Today I....

another day I am sick. and I found this website http://cyberakumamechgouki.blogspot.com/
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Another Day I am Sick =_________=

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Birthday Frustration

*sighs* seven more days until my birthday.... I can't wait until I get to eat out with my friend. and I really can't wait until Saturday either. I want to hang out with my other friend this Sat. because she is taking me out then on my birthday it self my mom might give me cake @W@ maybe... I don't really know :[ I am unable to normally write in my blogger in the night so in the morning I'll write my blogger until I get more time to write my blogger in the night because of the fact I am playing Final Fantasy Dissidia 012. So what I did for the passed week was I talked to Danny (AKA) unkown his user is spelt wrong is what I feel but oh well.... He is so sweet ^w^ but train has been busy with my birthday video gift and stuff so we haven't been roleplaying much and also in my school I have been doing way to much work I don't even think I have time for role playing with train so I hope they ease up on the homework on my birthday >:( ...... and also I have been doing horrible in L.E (Living Enviorment) I got a SIXTY FIVE on one of my homework AND A IN-COMPLETE .... T^T I don't really like my teacher he always nags at me and always gives me bad grades it's not fair....
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=__=.....

Today I woke up and I didn't feel like going to school. =__=. But on the bright side I get to go home at 1 and my boyfriend comes home at 3:30 I can't wait to roleplay tonight and also I hope that I can finish my homework on time so that I may roleplay with him.
Later on in the day :#
Stress is building up I can't stand stupid people who don't even get what the
word relax means my boyfriend left to go to a doctors appointment and I am
Pissed at my mom because she said that if I have no homework I shouldn't be
on the computer when I was suppose to be relaxing I am thinking am I a working
freak!!!?? like I got so angry.
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Black Friday....

Today in america we call today black friday. I don't like this day so much because some idiot decided to go to a shopping mall where everying is hecktic as H-E-L-L, and he died from a heart attack. Other than that I countinued on with my roleplaying with my boyfriend on messanger and it was so intimnate O/////O .... I don't understand why I couldn't role play more :'(. One more thing I forgot to mention On thanksgiving day I played Final Fantisy, That one my friend kevin let me borrow and also we made a bet if i get my chracters all up to 100 I can get a prize >:3 I am GOING TO WIN MAH HA HA!!
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Happy ThanksGiving

Okay first off I wanna wish all the blogger people happy thanksgiving My thanksgiving days off is sweet because my Boy.F Roleplayed all day and I had Pair Drops (my name for it) and I had some fried rice for dinner and also I watched my favorite show after my boyfriend logged off of messanger I went to watch the CSI messanger. Have a safe and Happy Thanks giving especially my bestie who might not recieve this message until she gets a new charger or I might get that for her Christmas and I am still working on trying to figure out where the I can get my job papers ><
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Emo Style Gamer look

http://www.zerochan.net/Running?p=4

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Color-Premium-Denim-Jeans-Jeggings-Zipper-Skinny-Pants-/110740598881?pt=US_CSA_WC_Pants&var=&hash=item5f7813dd29

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Color-Premium-Denim-Jeans-Jeggings-Zipper-Skinny-Pants-/110740598881?pt=US_CSA_WC_Pants&var=&hash=item5f7813dd29
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Video games ,,,, OwO/ Today Hyper


Its been the fourth day since I started playing Final Fantisy Dissida. I am in love with the game oh my gosh it is ... 1. Intreasting , 2. Challanging and I learned that one of my team mates, Will betray the main character who I am playing as. I am also happy that today my boyfriend is coming back today now we can get to role play all i want without me being sad or depressed. I am soooooo happy YAY I just wanna try yan-yan the candy and ect.

Also my middle brother he is gonna buy me a present with and he calls them gift packages he wants to make up to me and do a so called make up christmas present gift *sighs* oh well Ill try to get along with him until something bad happens if that happens I will be entirly pissed off. (to be continued of today)
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Another Day To A Hell Day...

Well last week Friday I cried so much to my friend Jessie how my brother was making me feel stupid and how my mom nagged me about washing the pot and also I tried doing what my mom said which was to forgive my brother because he was going through a lot I am sick and tired of him being pampered and also this morning I found out my dumb pastor didn't write the letter for jessica which caused her to loose her points... I am so upset at that it makes me feel like I made her loose her points but I tried everything... My mom also asked me did you brush you teeth and then I said yes appeartly I said it to fast and she got mad because she thought I said it in a addituded and when she started arguing she argued back so now I am not going home until three thirty so she can go to hell I don't care about her anymore if I spoke to her nicely the first time she thinks I gave her a adittude and I am so pissed off.... I am sick of everyone on my back and when I try to be nice it never seems like I am apreciated. Sorry Jessie that I made you loose some points.
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How am I suppose to feel.....

How am I suppose to feel.. I try to express how I felt and then my bestie gets mad CAN I NEVER BE UPSET ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE THAT HAS THE RIGHT TO GET UPSET!!!!!!!!???. For one thing I am stressed out because my mom lost her job so now I am not even able to do the stuff like I used to do like ask my dad for allowance I can't have my allowance and also the worst thing is my dad works three times a week only and that's not enough to help up. I am sad depressed and I know I have my bestie as my friend and I know she is trying her to be a great friend but I .... don't even know anymore. I help her yea but you say how am I great friend well it took like three years to figure out how to treat a friend but why do I feel like I am the only one trying. I know she asked me whats wrong but that day I couldn't even put my finger on it why I was sad or depressed but when my mom came home now I realized why a depression just came over me. I do love my bestie but would it kill you to at least try to be a better friend. I am sorry if I am asking to much Ill keep doing what I do best being a good friend and giving good advise and you can just do what you want I won't force you. don't worry I still love you for who you are not for what you pretend to be because remember I can see through the mask you put up or any mask you try to put up for that matter.
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New Bedroom Decorations.....

1.) http://www.ebay.com/itm/VOCALOID2-Anime-Rin-Len-Heart-Pillow-/160665570984?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item25686a0ea8
2.) http://www.ebay.com/itm/Vocaloid-Rin-Len-cute-wallet-purse-anime-cosplay-/180748723474?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item2a1576a512
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Wednesday & Thursday Review...

for the whole week I have been neglecting my privilages as a person to blog I am sorry to my friend for not blogging. But yesterday was really fun running around to stores and asking if we can do voulenteer work and the funny part was that they didn't even know what voulenteer work is .... *sighs* and we got turned down seven or eight times in trying I was sad that we didn't get a voulenteer work but I was glad to spend time with my bestie she pulled out a five dollar and bought food she bought food for me I was so happy >.> but the bad part was that sensie was mad at me because I didn't call him to talk to him but I feel left out when he keeps talking about Tiffey I mean I called him to talk about him me and ect. But not about tiffey if I wanted to know I would go to her and asked her also the night before I gave hints to my dad about what happened between me and my brother and my dad was like pray about it. *sighs* I was depressed about it and my friend kevin decided to stay home today I wish I stayed home today and not yesterday and I did not do Wednesdays homework. well thats my blogger review for Wednesday & Thursday. Oh and sorry bestie for not picking up my phone it was in my bag not my pocket so I couldn't pick up.
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New Shopping List

Hi everyone so your wondering what I have been doing well I have been checking out what to buy so here is the list of my dream clothing >w<

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Today...

Hi everyone today I found out some bad news my boyfriend is going on one of though's cruz's for two weeks and I am kinda gonna feel lonely so to make up for it I am going to hang out with my friend if she is not busy for the two weeks he is not here he is gonna come back on the twenty first or the twenty second and I am supper sad about it but I am trying not to be sad. The good news is he said he will buy me a stuff dolphin for me ^w^ I love the idea of my boyfriend buying me a dolphin >///< so I can go to sleep with it in the night. In history (strawberry) talked to me normally he didn't seem scary so I made a great friend he dressed up as Joker for halloween XD and he had eye liner stuck on his face and had no idea how to take it off so I laughed at him the whole class period also their was this guy picking on my friend so I sat in his seat and told him to back off and scram so he did and then he was cursing me out and I was like listen don't curse me out then cursed right back at him so yea. well I am off to do my homework Ill right later some more things when I get a chance :3
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Don't wanna...

I don't wanna go to school tomorrow I wanna sleep I am in one of thoughs moods to stay home and just relax I am almost done with my banner request I have about three more banners to do and three videos which is one for my sensie the second one is for my facebook brother usui and then a video for my boyfriend just wishing him a happy Halloween and I am gonna do that secretly tonight maybe I am not sure ... I wish I could finish it though also I must pack my bag for school tomorrow GAHH so much pressure and stuff to do I don't wanna do it the weekends end to fast TT~TT
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Today I ....

Well today was great because one I finally got to speak to Train and also I over slept today and woke up at around eleven close to twelve and then I saw Sensie online but he was busy so he couldn't talk but then he called me like three times to tell me that it was a spam phone call and I was laughing (just for the FYI spam phone call means a lot of calls that have no reason to call someone for) Also for dinner I am eatting Chinese takeout and also I'm watching a Mystery crime solver show its about A guy kidnapped five girl made them into prostitutes and then killed them by the river isn't that something???
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Today Wasn't Good....

Hey Everyone today wasn't a good day after all I guess you wondering why... well I told my sensie to stop speaking negative (because of my situation) he didn't listen he kept going then what really got me arritated was like oh how I can't leave him because of the fact I was in love with him. I hate when he had that confidence of thinking he can control me I AM NOT A DAM PUPPET I am a human being I have rights I was laughing at first because I was like oh its funny then he got all intamte and shit it was annoying so now he calls and asks to apologize it's worst when u think a guy is being nice towards ur feelings and then it goes down hill and he try's to think your a freaking puppet and thinks girls can't get angry too. All I want is someone to listen to me and including my boyfriend I am worried about him that he isn't you know like not talking to me this is like friday and he still hasn't talked to me I am wondering if he is hurt or something I don't know well sorry for writting something bad and I will post the picture soon Chrissi-Chan
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Friday My Free Day

Okay well I wanted to say what happened today Joshua finally talked to me.
I wrote my feelings down on paper and he didn't through it out or anything I took pictures of what he wrote so ill put it on here when I am done but yea I would like to apoligize to you Chrissi about you thinking I am busy its not because I was busy it was because I was tired and I fell a sleep I wish you can hang out with me after you done with school I wish that you call me (I hope this doesn't sound perversed) but yea anyways Joshua told me he would still be my friend he wasn't imature about it that's why I like him because he wasn't imature

about my feelings but the sad part was that .... My thinking was right he does have a girl he likes *sighs* okay well I have no homework but I am sad because I made you mad Chrissi-Chan and I am soo sorry my bestie I luv you and I hope you can forgive me I am sorry I haven't been a great friend for a while now its because I have been sleepy for no reason and I am very sorry for that but like from now on if we have to talk to each other very late it can only be once a week because then Ill be tired the next day unless I drink a monster bull and I can't I am sooo sorry I am going to say sorry until you really forgive me but yea I am happy about my grabe I got a 83. Average it was soo ausome but the sad part is I am loosing my touch in science I really wish I get better in that and Chrissi for the 5th time I am very sorry I fell a sleep last night but i sent you a message on face book saying if you were on but u didn't reply and also I did go on ebuddy when I was doing laundry and I didn't see you on... I am not doubting you but yea I hope u know won't be mad at me and if you want I can ask my dad to transfer me to your school.... so that I can hang with you and help u with Giraffie or something but I am not that sure so yea I still love u as a friend and I hope that you can have more courage.
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Today & Yesterday was okay...

Okay so yesterday was a really crappy day as you may know I told you sensie's girl was over and she was talking to him about her problems with this guy name (Strawberry) he was flirting so I heard but yea don't feel like talking about that much because It was just annoying because he got on late to talk to me he used the time that he was suppose to talk to me to talk to her so I talked to my best friend instead and I was like sorry I am video Chatting with my best friend (which he sounded dissapointed at least I think he did.) So Moving on about today was fun because he Sensie I called him when he was in class still because I thought it was two o'clock which it was only like one fifty so yea we video chatted and he said something funny and it sounded a bit negative and pushy so I told him some more things about my situation with my brother and he said to solve it by taping him on a camera but I don't know what to do I am not sure I am scared about sending him to court you know he is my blood but I am thinking my brother never cared If I was his sister he just did it so why should I care if he goes to prison he deserves as much pain as I went through Sensie is great at giving me life Advise also I have like so much homework and I am so nervous about my dam Report Card. oh after school I am gonna go to parent meeting and then after wait for you to go to Barnes & Nobles or Khoals my best friend has to choose because after that we gonna go to my house and then she will have to go home. I wonder if I am over exagerating about stupid stuff but yea I got rejected by both the guys (Pancake & Blueberry) .... Isn't that depressing I asked them and they both Rejected me because they have someone they both like. so stupid right yea I even told sensie and he said he will beat them up for me he also said he will help me with my brother's issue :) I want TO TALK TO MY BOYFRIEND I DON"T SEE HIM ON ANYMORE ITS MAKING ME SAD TOO
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Today >w< Video Date

Hi Everyone so do u know what I did today? I was did a Video chat date is what my Sensie said but I think he was just playing around with me because he has a girlfriend. well we role played talked about anime well he said to entertain him so we did a butt hand shake something weird lolz ^w^ well I think I am falling for Sensei and I am not suppose to because he told me I am not anyways while we where role playing he wrote something a little over board (you know my situation bestie) and also I cried so I told him about it and he gave me a hug to cheer me up he was about to leave because he said that oh how that he gives up trying to make me not be sad anymore and then I was like I am fine don't worry about it so then we got into this talk he said u got to admit I was Smexy on the webcam and I was like not really ( I L-I-E-D ) I kept laughing while I was talking to him and I was trying not to because he figured me out when he said do you like me? and I was like XD but I automatically told him no I don't I don't lie for stupid things like that but I did =___= he said he wouldn't tell his girl but I am unsure and I don't wanna say I like him or admit it because of the fact that him and my friend is going out with him and also I am not that cool looking. Also Sensie said he likes my smile and I was like I like yours too because he keeps saying his girl this his girl that he basically lives for that so I am not gonna get in the way for that but I will tell him I do like him and on Friday I will tell Joshua I like him because today Joshua payed to that girl again and he just completely ignored me >_< I HATE HER SHE NOT PRETTY HER VOICE MAD ANNOYING GOSH. Oh and moving on ,,,,,, I wish Train would JUST SHOW ME HIM AND STUFF I HATE NOT TALKING TO HIM LONG >_<. I TALK TO SENSIE MORE THAN 1 MINUTE AND HE IS MAD COOL >< WHY DOESN"T ANYONE ASK ME OUT LIKE THAT!!!!????
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Boo :]

Hi everyone so your wondering how my chat video went it went Ausome I talked to Sensei very long and also I did some sneek shots of our conversation :3 I am sooo Tired from Sunday When I stayed up until 1 In the morning I am still very tired I said I was gonna take a nap before talking to Sensie but he called so I had to video chat After making my chicken :O Right now I need to do my homework and I am not even finished I want to sleep but I can't because then it will mess with my sleeping habits tonight and I need a well rested body I really really wanna role play with Jessica today but I was getting tired last night. *sighs*
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Today & Yesterday Review....

Okay so everyone you are wondering what I did and probaly wondering is she depressed again? yes I am got a problem with it get off my blogger. So now that I cleared that up I told one my Sensie my life coach I wanted to commit suicide and I was shaking because I was in the middle of an argument with my mom. (hence he called at the wrong time) so I tell him not to tell his girl I was crying... he did and now he was yelling in the phone saying that he shouldn't trust his girl because she was suppose to act like she was suprised and also I was suppose to be ready to tell her on my own appearently and then I didn't know she already knew which I felt stupid because I was telling her and she already knew I only found out because Sensie told me on the phone I forgave Sensie into telling her and also moving on I realized I think he also told her about my problem before I told her. I am thinking should I just Fire him as a life Instructor and his girl or just Ignore it and move on. I am also thinking about if my Sensie's girl is my friend still and if she hate's me (hence I am wondering if she is mad at me) I am thinking of keeping all my pain in so they won't get into anymore arguments much like my parents I found out they are divorced and living together still and they had me when they where divorced how much can my mind take I don't wanna think anymore my head hurts so much I fell like crying I also fell like crying because Joshua was talking to this girl and his eye's where going totally down her shirt and all his attention was on her, Also I couldn't even give him a inflated ballon on personal high day because one I didn't have enough money and two I didn't remember the day to bring it in ..... and also before I went to go see my other penguin half which I thought we where going to meet we couldn't because she couldn't go because she didn't wash the dishes but before that I declined some phone call on my dad's phone and he slapped me ..... and also I think I should be finishing my homework its just I have a shyt load of homework to do and I don't want to do it but I have to do it .... *sighs*


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Depressing Day....

Okay at times like this I would be telling my friend stop eatting yesterday it was her now today is me.... I found out that Joshua probally has someone he likes and she isn't even that pretty.... and I really felt like he likes me well was starting to like me. Also I found out Jad might be going out with someone, Also in gym today their was this girl she threw a football close to my waist area like right into my the thing which makes you get your special time so yea I was in pain but I am okay.... I really love Joshua well I think and also I like train-kun too but I just don't know and also on my way home I tried this new drink I have never tried before which is a Snapple Juice The Very Cherry Drink so yea... *sighs* he hardly talks to me and also I drew THREE PICTURES OF HIM THREE! and I am not even a great artist of drawing real people but I drew him sooo well *sighs* I don't know I know I shouldn't be sad but I am. Also I keep thinking about the way my brother always calls me greedy but I am not I just don't wanna share right now the last time I shared was during easter and I had this big egg thing fulled with chocolates I shared with everyone and I got none. I am so upset because I keep remembering the bad and not the good and today Blondi fucking cursed at me because my book bag was on the floor and it was just sticking out of underneath my desk a little like seriously I was like girl control your anger to myself so I don't flip out (I remind you I was talking to myself not Blondie). Also when Blondie cursed me out I remembered the girl who cursed me out when I went shopping she wanted to go with me because she had nothing to do and no money and I was just getting mad cause she was going on and on calling me stupid and dummy for no reason and I was like you really get kicks out of calling me names and she was like its just a joke and I am like that's not funny. Anyways I am still thinking about what I am going to get on my report card ..... I am very scared I am going to be receiving it on a Thursday or Friday I am so tired so I am gonna take a nap and the probally do my Homework before I go take a shower hmm and I am gonna probally get my hair blow dried at my other friends house so yea that's basically why day was depressing.
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Today I ...

Hey everyone its been a while since I wrote on here yea well so far I have this homework and the only homework I didn't do ... which I feel really horrible but I hope my friend would let me copy his homework anyways moving on Wednesday my bestie had a half a day so she came over to my house she was extremliy happy I was told I was a good host anyways so far I got a lot of freaken 60 somethings on my tests I am not happy about that .... and I let everything of my problems effect me well anyways I am go to do better on this marking period and study math with my bestie so that I am able to pass his class and also to read over my notes in my living enviorment class >< I am kinda tired but I am gonna go see if any new anime Manga's came out so I can write some more I thought I would put some more on what I did today but.... I did completly nothing ..
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Review On What Happened....

Hey everyone it's been a while since I last post something yea I know the last thing I posted was the clothing I wanted well it was kinda stupid of me to do that I realized but I was so in love with the clothing I had to show my friend what I wanted. Well I just came back from school and I am moving forward I wonder what I am going to get for my report card because my teacher made me mad he was like I can redo the homework I got a 65 on and a 40 on and I am slacking in L.E and it angers me that I am. I am going to try to get my grades up because the last marking period is going to be on Wednesday I want a Ipod touch for my birthday so badly and I want to hang out with Jessica so badly >.< for my birthday and I am working on my room now so that I can video chat without worrying about the little spy my friend calls her brother... I don't know If I should be writing this on here but are the list of things I am saving to get for my room.
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In A Deep Sadness...

Today I finally help Ms.Witch with her work and then she yells and says I do nothing and I yell back yes I am doing something I am doing the Laundry and I was like what do you want me to do she is stressing me out I love school but then she is making it impossible to love school because she is stressing me out she wants me to work to much she doesn't even want me to watch anime for my break or be on the computer. I want to hurry up and get out of here because I live with Ms. Witch and all she does is CURSE! CURSE! CURSE! she says I will need anger managment classes because I yell at her SHE NEEDS MORE FREAKEN MANNERS THAN I DO TELLING ME I HAVE NONE GAHHH STUPID MS.WITCH
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My Dresses I Wants >:O

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Attractive-womens-Dresses-long-sleeve-Winter-dress-New-/180720867546?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&hash=item2a13cd98da

http://www.ebay.com/itm/2011-Women-long-Sleeve-Mini-party-dress-winter-club-green-New-/180712378116?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&var=&hash=item6fc44304db

http://www.ebay.com/itm/KOREA-Winter-Snow-Flower-Wool-Blend-Dress-Gray-M-L-1X-/180659818214?pt=US_CSA_WC_Dresses&var=&hash=item6fc3c6ad48

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Korean-drama-fashion-Cute-Moon-and-Star-earrings-/350236925992?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item518bbf6028

http://www.ebay.com/itm/Pair-Cotton-Black-Long-Fingerless-Arm-Sleeves-Gloves-/330617188695?pt=US_CSA_MWA_Gloves_Mittens&hash=item4cfa51f157

http://www.kohls.com/kohlsStore/womens/dresses/day/PRD~871108/Apt+9+Peacock+KnotFront+Dress.jsp
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Unsure

Hi everyone its been like one day since I wrote in my blogger. I don't know why I am feeling mad right now maybe I just don't understand anything anymore maybe I should learn to be more selfish about life or maybe just ended it I don't know what I am feeling sometimes mostly depressed and then mostly sad. I want to think about myself but when It comes to my bet friend I like her a lot but then again today my stupid friend blew me off and went to see my old teachers and also went without me. I hate him and the rest of people I have in contact with I try to be nice to them and they totally hurt me. I like my old friends but they seem like their becoming more distant with their own schools I know the world doesn't revolve around me but at least try to care am I the only one trying to keep our friendship together? Not even my lousy boyfriend wasn't online and still isn't so my Columbus day was horrible even Ms.Witch didn't even want me to have any type of contact with my own COUSIN'S you can say my life is crap and more than crap it is GARBAGE. I try to become happy and everyone comes and put stupid pressure on me and make me depressed again also I was happy that my friend would call me she didn't she had no phone to call me.... but we still planned this and yesterday I waited for her and I never saw her.... I am not mad heck I am but not mad at her I am mad at myself that I always try to make plans and they never come true 98% of the time. I am making a present for my friend though .... I wonder if she will like it I don't know maybe the present it to stupid and dumb and she wouldn't like it......
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